Monday, April 07, 2003


Monday, April 07, 2003

Wow, I just went back and looked at some of my first posts. I talked about how my husband being a bus driver was going to help with situations like school and dr. appointments. Boy was I wrong. I still take care of 80% of them because it’s too hard to get appointments at the times when my husband can take them. He has to be back a certain time in the afternoon and half the time there are no appointments available early enough in the morning that he could finish his morning bus run then make it to the appointment and be done with it before he has to be back. I guess last year it seemed easier because the oldest was in a different situation and the younger two were in a private school where I could take them and drop them off at daycare before school and they walked over and stayed at the daycare after school.
If only they could have stayed there……

Monday, April 07, 2003

I really can’t wait until school is out for the summer. I know that sounds like a contradiction to what most people wish for, but it will FINALLY give me a break! I’ll get to leave FOR work when I want and I’ll get to leave FROM work when I want. My husband just doesn’t understand how trapped I feel and how much I feel like I’m the one who always has to compromise for the kids. I leave for work later than I’ve been used to for so many years and I have to leave from work early and race home to reconnect from home to start working again so I get my 8 hours in. I know I’m lucky that where I work will let me do this, but it can be such a mental strain. I feel like I am constantly being pushed from both ends. And, on top of that, I have to deal with 80% of the kids’ appointments because it is so hard to find a time during the day that has an appointment available when my husband can take them. That, and I don’t like to pull them out of school so much.
The appointments are for the therapists and the psychiatrist for their meds. Some of the appointments are for the dentist for the oldest’s braces. There is rarely a week that goes by that there isn’t some type of appointment.
And when the kids don’t have school and the husband does, we have to get a babysitter which is most often my mother-in-law. I should be grateful, but she runs so much even though she is in her late 70’s that sometimes I STILL have to leave work early so she can go and do her things. I just want to be like my husband gets to be. He has peace and quiet EVERY single morning when he’s getting ready for work. He leaves before the kids even get out of bed. I have to sit and wait until the last bus comes for the kids before I can leave and it’s never peaceful when they are getting ready for school. He can stop after work and do whatever he “needs” to do without feeling like he has to rush home to be there for the kids, because of course, I’M ALREADY THERE! He keeps telling me I got what I asked for. Seems to me we both wanted kids…


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